THE GIRL I USED TO BE

Que up a married woman who's overcome a secret past. Now a successful businesswoman, she's "taken advantage of" by a shady character who's now sending mysterious messages and demeaning photos. She can't go to the police, nor trust any of her friends to stay mum, because her husband might find out. And if he does, it's for sure he'll immediately stop loving her and take away the young son she loves so much. Instead, she decides to handle everything all by herself - meaning that she must up the ante on her lies until the muck threatens to bury her kneecaps.

Stop me if you've read this one before.

I have - several times. In fact, it's not all that different from the author's first book, Gone Without a Trace. Although both are well written (which, for the record, is why I'm quite comfortable awarding 4 stars), I can't say I was fond of any of the characters in either book. 

Here's how it goes: After moving on from her teenage trauma, Gemma Brogan is married to a stay-at-home husband, has a young son named Rory and owns a real estate firm in England. The real estate industry is slowing, though, and to her growing dismay, Gemma's husband Joe just doesn't seem interested in finding a job to boost their income and allow her to slow down her own work pace. The at-home resentment builds, and then Gemma takes an overnight trip to an industry conference where, by her own admission, she gets thoroughly drunk. She can't recall much of what happened, but she knows it was nothing good when she gets an explicit photo and a few other telling messages. To her credit, she does speak with a policewoman, but the discussion never goes anywhere because, remember, she's terrified that someone might find out.

And that's where I pretty much tuned out. As I emphasized in my review of the author's first book, I've got zero tolerance for whining, paranoid females who, instead of taking charge, keep digging their own holes deeper (and, as my late mother was fond of saying, don't "have the sense God gave a little gosling.") That said, I kept at it, mostly because I'd accepted an advance copy in exchange for an honest review and simply won't go back on my word.

And in the end, honestly, I'm quite sure those who don't share my dislike of wimpy "heroines" will enjoy this book. It hits all the requisite high notes to qualify as a psychological thriller, serves up twists, turns and surprises  - at least for those who haven't traveled this road before - and even comes with what I call a Robert Browning ending ("God's in His Heaven, all's right with the world"). For all of you, then, what's not to like? Go for it!

The Girl I Used to Be by Mary Torjussen (Berkley Publishing Group, April 2018); 368 pp.

GONE WITHOUT A TRACE

4 stars out of 5


Oy vey - what a collection of unpleasant and downright disturbed (and disturbing) characters! But I guess that's the point; getting into their heads is what makes this a "novel of psychological suspense," as the official description rightly says.

It begins with central character and narrator Hannah Monroe, whose live-in lover, Matt, suddenly goes missing - totally. He's taken away every single item he brought to her house when he moved in plus anything even remotely associated with him. He's even deleted all references to him on Hannah's computer and cell phone; it's as if he never even existed. Hannah, an extremely successful (but clearly neurotic) accountant, starts going even more mentally bonkers as she tries to figure out what happened, why he left and whether he will return to her and when. The only way those questions can be answered, she reasons, is by confronting him personally. So, forsaking everything and everyone else in her life, she turns her own into a full-on awake nightmare as she tries to track him down. 

Let me amend that; with Hannah, there is no reasoning. Absolutely everyone, including her childhood friend Katie, Katie's boyfriend James (at one time Hannah's boyfriend), her mother, father and even next-door neighbors is out to get her and cannot be trusted. Her thoughts as she works her way through the why did he/they, why didn't he/they, why should he/they, why shouldn't he/they, etc., are outlined in almost excruciating detail in every chapter. About halfway through, in fact, I almost gave up - thinking I couldn't bear another 150 pages or so of her constant (and I do mean constant) second-guessing of everyone's motives for disrupting her very existence.

That's not to say, however, that she isn't at least partly right (bringing to mind that well-known joke, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you"). She's always, for instance, had issues with Katie, who appears to have developed a serious case of Hannah-envy back when they were kids. And Hannah's parents' relationship can't be called ideal (and certainly not conducive to their daughter's stress-free childhood). 

And make no mistake: it is Hannah's ad nauseam ruminating that is central to the psychological "pull" of the story. Little by little, layers of Hannah's mind and those of her friends and family are peeled away, giving up insights as to what they think is going on and prompting me to keep reading even though I was happy that all these misfits are confined to a single book with no chance to ruin others I may want to read.

So whose "reality" is real? Now that I've finished, I'm not sure I know the answer to that question - especially since the trip through the pages in many ways blew my own mind. If you want to chance messing with yours, give this one a try. Many thanks to the publisher, via NetGalley, for providing an advance copy to read and review. Whew!

Gone Without a Trace by Mary Torjussen (Berkley, April 2017); 352 pp.