HARDCORE TWENTY-FOUR

2 stars out of 5

When I opened this book, the 24th in the series featuring offbeat bounty hunter Stephanie Plum, it was not without a bit of trepidation. The previous installment, Turbo Twenty-Three, was so lackluster that I gave it just 3 stars (and grudgingly at that). Aside from the same old, same old characters who just can't seem to grow up, the story itself was borderline silly.

But alas, my hope of improvement just wasn't to be. Not only is Stephanie still trying to decide whose bed she prefers - that of her supposedly main squeeze, detective Joe Morelli, and studly security consultant Ranger - she adds yet another irresistable guy to her wishy washy list with the return of Diesel (a character who's made appearances in other books).

That she remains fixated on getting laid (or not) is bothersome, but in previous books the one-liners have pulled me out of my funk sufficiently to say that for the most part, I enjoyed them. Not so here; as I said to myself a few chapters into it, I guess in one sense I'm happy that at my advanced age I'm still able to chuckle at seventh-grade bathroom humor. But what's in here kicks the level down to the kindergarten level (and really, isn't this supposed to be a book for grown-ups)?

As for the plot, silly doesn't begin to cover it. From tracking down an errant boa constrictor to exploding groundhogs to zombies who steal brains from the living and the dead (yeah, you read that right), the whole thing quickly goes from bad to worse and stays that way. A mix of cucumbers and cat pee wards off zombies is supposed to be funny? Only Stephanie's rotund work buddy, Lulu (who, we're told more than once, is fond of wearing skirts that barely cover her hoo-hah with a purple thong underneath), would come up with that one.

If there's a saving grace humor-wise - and honestly, even it falls short - it comes from the antics of Stephanie's funeral-loving Grandma Mazur, who lives with Stephanie's parents and has found a new man online she's determined to go visit. She, and Stephanie's long-suffering mother, manage to provide a few real chuckles in an otherwise hopeless mess of a story.

My conclusion? Whichever of the guys - Morelli, Diesel or Ranger - ends up with Stephanie deserves what he gets, and I really don't care to who gets the spoils. Stick a fork in me: I'm done.

Hardcore Twenty-Four by Janet Evanovich (G.P. Putnam's Sons, Novembeer 2017); 304 pp.