DOGGONE DEAD

4 stars out of 5

If ever there was a cozy mystery that's perfect for beach or fireside reading, this may be it. There's nothing really bloody, gory or politically sensitive here, the characters are mostly likable (more on that later) but yes, there's a murder. It's short enough that motivated readers, bolstered with a couple of gin-and-tonics or hot chocolate depending on the season, should be able to polish it off in one sitting. And if you like it, good news: It's the first in a series.

As for me, I can't say I absolutely loved it; if I'm limited to a one-word description, I'd choose "cute." Even though a murder is involved, there's very little police interaction or meaningful investigation on the part of the main characters, and not once was I on the edge of my seat. My primary attraction is that one of the two leads, Gwen Franklin, just retired as an English teacher. Since I'm married to one of those, a 33-year veteran, and our daughter is less than a handful of years away from retirement and our granddaughter will be starting her first year this fall (in what manner remains to be seen because of the COVID-19 pandemic) I figured I could identify.

Gwen is an interesting, down-to-earth person, although she talks way too much about what I'll call her "classroom demeanor," leading me to believe she probably wasn't truly fed up enough to retire. But she's also got a long-time bestie named Nora Goldstein, who earned most of her extensive wealth by divorcing several husbands (and is constantly on the lookout for the next one). Even though her "good heart" is emphasized many times, the bottom line is that Nora is loud, obnoxious and irritating. Her Spandex outfits and stilettos reminded me way too much of Lulu, the office assistant in Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series - which, I should note, I stopped reading after 20-or-so books mostly because of Lulu's outrageously silly behavior.

As the story begins, Nora is conjuring up a dog-walking-sitting business, and she's decided that pal Gwen should (no, make that will) be her partner. It'll be called Two Sisters Pet Valet Services, she decrees, and Gwen decides not to rock the boat even though she's highly allergic to dog and cat dander - another reason I can relate to her. Quickly, they decide they'll need a helper if they're to avoid the dirty clean-up work; enter Brent, one of Gwen's former students, who can best be described as an amusing dolt. As bad luck would have it, when they return to Nora's ritzy apartment for the perfectly brewed coffee that readers are reminded often is a must among residents of Portland, Oregon, they find a dead woman on the otherwise pristine kitchen floor. Turns out she and Nora have a long-running feud, so of course Gwen wants to make sure Nora doesn't become a serious suspect. On the other hand, the woman was in the apartment uninvited - so how do they know the killer didn't mistake her for Nora?

The story moves along well in spite of Nora's overbearing nature and penchant for any man who gets within 10 feet of her; it is Gwen who notices most of the "clues" and follows up in her best Agatha Christie-loving fashion. All told, it sets the stage well for the next book in the series, and I thank the publisher, via NetGalley, for the opportunity to read and review a pre-release copy.

Doggone Dead by Dane McCaslin (Lyrical Press, August 2020); 183 pp.